Another Year

We end up in a church that’s now a bar, there are only a few of us and it’s the end of year work’s bash. I remain sober and observe; a couple of lesbian princesses catch my eye, strikingly beautiful they appear to possess a rare and graceful elegance. I get a bit carried away. The women I’m with chat up the barman who’s a McFly wannabe all hair sculpt angles and baby faced charm, he’s making a right old racket shaking his cocktails and Rachel asks him if he’s that noisy in bed. He blushes, the women giggle and whoop as the lesbians kiss and blow smoke rings. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Perhaps I am feeling some way adrift of the seasonal mood, no drink, no fun and no real truth. That would be even worse. John and I debate the nature of happiness and agree that it’s an emotion best defined by memory. The here and now seems way too fraught and complex to rationalise. Am I happy??…well kind of but ???... is the inevitable response. McFly brings us more drinks. Man at the urinal tells me the Liverpool game is postponed due to fog. A girl falls over and I ponder on meaning of the phrase ‘spread eagled’. Time passes slowly, anther bottle of wine, shorts for the girls, I attempt to leave early but it’s impossible. We’ve been here since the early afternoon, we’ve done the true confessions, numbered and in some cases described our sexual partners in great detail, suggested a colleague we would sleep with if we weren’t attached, bitched about the people we detest …all the usual nonsense and then finally we’re gone, kerb crawling our way along Seel Street back to the PCT car park. I’m freezing. The M62 is blanketed in the white stuff, I sense a migraine in waiting and drink half a bottle of mineral water, feel even colder. I was never any good at having fun and it would appear from tonight’s attempt that nothings changed, another year another year another year. Happy Christmas and thanks for the support, VPx